I am writing this article about my cute nieces. Watching them grow has taught me a lot of lessons about life and the joy of parenthood. i am hoping this story will not cause any issue with the girls when they become bigger girls. I hear that twins are jealous creatures. Lol. Also, this note is intended to encourage us and not to spite anyone. I hope you enjoy this piece and get inspired by it. I gotta warn that I am not feeling myself much as I write this note. If you find it clumsy, forgive me and just try to pick the message if you can.
About four years ago, my older and only sister had a set of adorable twins, both girls. I love kids and so was one of her early visitors at the hospital. From birth, they were cute and identical, just that one was bigger and lighter in complexion. Before I got to the hospital, doctors had recognized a sign to tell them apart. They say God always leaves twins with birth signs and if you look hard enough, you will see. I believe that now. One of them has a tiny hole on her ear (can’t remember which ear now). It makes her look cool. This was a natural distinction and for God, it should be enough. But not for humans - they must find theirs. Unfortunately, people are almost always quick, physical and insensitive while looking for distinctions. No one looks hard enough or is patient for tomorrow. When it has to do with two people, comparison is not fair. This one is cute and that one is so plain like water. Or this one is talented and that one is a complete jerk. Guess that’s familiar. We are so quick to make choices and inattentive to people’s feelings. If my little twins could hear, I know jealousy would begin the first people would have ignited jealousy that day. Ok back to my story.
From left - Right. Taiye & Kehinde
At that time, Taiye (in Yoruba, usually the name given to the first one) was fairer and by popular opinion, cuter. I wonder how people could tell which child is cuter from a day old. As usual, I didn’t go with the crowd. I took particular interest in Kehinde (in Yoruba, means the last one). For me, she looked cuter initially because people thought she wasn’t and thank God I made that choice. It afforded me the opportunity to patiently pay attention to details. When I carried her in my arms, I saw what others didn’t see. She’s simply adorable. Those present at the hospital that time (excluding the parent) may not agree with my perspective but I didn’t care. Unconsciously I bonded with Kehinde and they called her my girl. She’s been my girl since then. I dunno about now though. The girls are so adorable that you cannot tell them apart.
I saw Kehinde’s eyes for the first time when they were christened. Geez! She’s got pretty eyes too? Crazy, no one was with me at that time. Yes cute Taiye was the favorite and she was in everyone’s hands every minute of the day. It’s not like Kehinde was completely ignored, she’s got little attention because people think she’s not as cute as Taiye. Isn’t this is how people make decisions too early in our lives? They seem to know which person will be successful and which will not. Are they God now? It’s crazy how they give up on you because in your struggling, you’re not appealing a sight to behold. My nieces were just a few days old and choices have been made? Not fair.
What people didn’t understand at that time is that each of these kids had the capacity to be cute too just as every human has the seed of greatness in him and no one can tell our future by just looking. Taiye, my niece, happened to be attractive first and Kehinde’s turn was coming. If people had known that tomorrow would change everything, they would hesitate in their decision about us. In the passage of time, the eternal lesson this experience taught me is that people are so unstable in their choices. This is because our decisions are primarily external, quick and inconsiderate. Little wonder we have regrets all the time. With my nieces, it was laughable. Not long, it became Kehinde’s turn and the whole people who ignored her changed their language again. I observed the attitude of men first hand. They were so unashamed as they switched places again. No apologies – they just switched? The good news is that Kehinde became big and adorable too (at least in their sight) and for a while enjoyed the joy of being preferred. Today, you can hardly tell them apart.
No one has a right to conclude on you right now. It’s quite early for people to make permanent statements about you. Whoever does will be making a blunder of the century. I have read and seen stories of write-offs becoming outstanding success stories. You may be unkempt, poor, and hungry today but that’s not the end of your life because there is TOMORROW, which is not in the hands of anyone but God. People’s tomorrow cannot be decided by their conditions today. It’s an unstable measuring stick and we don’t have any right to do it. Be careful how you treat people and what you say to them at the time they are down and depended on your goodwill. I have learned from experience to never treat people like shit when nothing seems to work for them or do not have the over-glorified image of success I have in my head – I aint God. The truth is that nothing in this world is constant. If someone depended on you for a favor today, the table might turn over tomorrow. You think that’s not possible? I have seen that happen in my life a lot for good and bad. When next you are tempted to manhandle someone because of his condition today, remember that his life is in the hand of his creator and if it pleases Him, will turn it around the next minute. May God help us all.
Colyns Agboju
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