A friend woke me up in the early hours of this morning and the moment I picked the phone, I perceived he was crying or had had a bath of tears through the night. He needed to talk to someone and thinks I am that person. It’s the usual “why me” that all of us have uttered in our moments of frustration. As I wrote yesterday, this is the time for those utterances. I tried to say a word or two to help and I hope he feels good as he claimed. I began writing this article just after then and I hope it makes sense to you.
Self-pity in my words means PITY FOR ONESELF, which includes wishing and crying over this or that privilege you never had. Or imagining how beautiful life would have been if you had utilized yesterday’s opportunities. Most often, because you don’t already have the things you had wished for, you conclude that you’re worthless. This habit does not point forward neither lead to fulfillment.
John Mason wrote, “There are three enemies of personal peace. Regret over yesterday’s mistakes, anxiety over tomorrows blessings and ingratitude for today’s blessings.” A person who pities himself possesses all of these because he cries over the things he never got yesterday and what he would have become today if his parents were rich. He fears that tomorrow would be worse and difficult. And he’s so busy with what others have that he often fails to see what he’s blessed with. He continually blames God, friend and family for his inadequacies.
Self-pity is the climate that breeds regret, pains and stagnancy. We can never move forward under the weight of pity party because each time we want to take a step ahead, we are discouraged again with the thought of failure and impossibilities as a result of our “inadequacies” or failed encounters. In the words of Ronald Hutchcraft, “a pity party celebrates every physical ailment, every difficulty and every need.” Their culture demands they take a pause and cry over challenges, which normally should not keep them down.
Take a second look around you. You will see a lot of people carrying mental heavy weight accumulated from yesterday’s ordeal. Many more have concluded that wealth and happiness are belong to a selected few who God has blessed. This is untrue. God’s blessings belong to everyone of us and those who do not have it today will have it at God’s appointed time. We have to learn to trust God in all seasons of our lives.
God bless you.
