100 THINGS YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT COLYNS AGBOJU

Every 10^th of November (My birthday), I answer random questions about me. Of course no “spotlight” on me yet but I think its right to set the record straight here every year for those who follow me on this blog and also my friends around the world. These past months I have lived virtually on the road and in hotels with little time to do much thinking and writing. And so, I am using this style. I like it because it keeps my answers brief and brings you back to me for more. Lol. These are hundred questions I perceive you want to know about me. Feel free to ask anything you want. Today, you have a discount for every question asked. Rotfl.

This piece is intended to appreciate every one of you who have loved me unconditionally and truly; flaws and strengths. And to all of you who visit my blog and say a word or two to encourage me. It’s also important to appreciate those of you who critique me. But for you, I would have grown lazy. Thank you all. Enjoy this.

100 RANDOM THINGS ABOUT COLYNS AGBOJU

1. Last drink- coke

2. Last phone call- my dad

3. Last text message- I am out of the country so can’t receive text messages. I will let you know when I get home.

4. Last song you listened to – Endless Love – Luther Vandross & Mariah Carey

5. Last time you cried – tonight.

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice - Nope

7. Been cheated on- I don’t know! I have never caught anyone in lies

8. Kissed someone and regretted it- nope

10. Been depressed – Yes

11. Been drunk and threw up – no

LIST THREE FAVOURITE COLOURS:

12. Blue

13. Red

14. Gold

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends? Yes - alot

16. Fallen out of love? - Nope.

17. Laughed until you cried? Yeah it's fun. You should try it too

18. Met someone who changed you? Yeah - Everyone i have met in life

19. Found out who your true friends were? I do few friends - guess they are true

20. Found out someone was talking about you? Yeah. If nobody talks about you, then you’re nobody

21. Kissed anyone on your friends list on fb? Yes. Ok stop there!!!

22. How many people on your friends list on Facebook do you know in real life?- counting....will tell you when I am done.

23. How many kids do you want to have? - 2 - a boy and a girl (maybe 3. still consulting. lol)

24. Do you have any pets? Yes. I am my own pet

25. Do you want to change your name?- Nah! COLLINS is so sweet buh Methuselah is cool too. lol

26. What did you do for your last birthday?- worked all day and saw Michael Jackson’s "This Is It” @ Silver Bird Galleria at night.

27. What time did you wake up today? – I have not even slept yet

28. What were you doing at midnight last night? - talking with my fiancé

29. Name something you cannot wait for – To be married and have a baby

30. Last time you saw your father- a week ago. See!!! You are a sexist. Why didn’t you ask about mom mom? lol

31. What is the one thing you wish you could change about your life? - I am fearfully & wonderfully made

32. What are you listening to right now? – You.

33. Have you ever spoken to someone named Tom? Why Tom?

34. What's getting on your nerves right now? - This list of questions. lol

35. Most visited web page? Facebook.com

36. What's your real name? Collins Oluniyi Osebimega Abiodun Agboju

37. Nicknames- Colyns

38. Relationship status- Engaged

39. Zodiac sign- Scorpion

40. Male, female or transgendered- tell me

41. Infant school – My mom's arms

42. Junior school– Army Children Primary School

43. High school- Government Secondary School, Kakuri

44. Hair colour- Scanty Black. Lol.

45. Long or short- what???

46. Height- 6ft plus.

47. Do you have a crush on someone? Yeah on you

48. What do you like about yourself? - I love my Spirit, soul & body

49. Piercings- Nope

50. Tattoos – Nope

51. Righty or lefty - Righty

FIRSTS:

52. First surgery- None

53. First piercing- None

54. First bestfriend- My mom

56. First kiss - I don’t kiss n tell.

57. First concert- Are you kidding me?

58. First crush- that’s when I was 2 years old. Lol.

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating- ice-cream

60. Drinking- nothing

61. I'm about to- sleep

62. Listening to- why do you keep asking me this?

63. Waiting for- a miracle

YOUR FUTURE:

64. Want kids? - Passionately

65. Get married?- Definitely!

66. Careers in mind? Counseling & Motion Picture Director.

WHICH IS BETTER ON THE OPPOSITE SEX:

67. Lips or eyes? Eyes

68. Hugs or kisses? Both

69. Shorter or taller? Anything but dwarf. my height can compensate

70. Older or younger? Does it really matter?

71. Romantic or spontaneous? Both

72. Nice stomach or nice arms? Nice stomach

73. Sensitive or loud? Sensitive

74. Hook up or relationship? Relationship.

75. Trouble maker or hesitant? None

HAVE YOU EVER:

76. Shoplifted? – You expect me to tell u that and have the police after me huh? lol

77. Drank hard liquor? - Nope

78. Lost glasses/ contacts? - Yeah

79. Sex in a public place? - No

80. Broken someone's heart?- Negative. But you never can tell if someone thought you did.

81. Had your heart broken? - Yep. Who hasn’t?

82. Been arrested? - No

83. Turned someone down? - I aint greedy

84. Cried when someone died? - Yeah. Don’t you?

85. Liked a friend that is a guy/girl? - Of course.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself? - Yes

87. Miracles? - Yes

88. Love at first sight? I don’t know about love at first sight but I can like someone at first sight

89. Heaven? - My home

90. Santa Clause? Waste of time

91. Kiss on the first date? - I put a knife to my throat

92. Angels? - I am an angel

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

93. Is there one person you want to be with right now? I am now

94. Had more than one bf/gf at one time? - Nope. I don’t do double-‘tis trouble

95. Did you sing today? Yup. Singing right now

96. Any regrets? – Nope!!! But I have done stuffs I am not proud of

97. If you could go back in time how far would you go? Now

98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it what day would it be? – 09/06/2010

99. Are you afraid of falling in love? - Nope.

100. Posting this as 100 truths?- lemme check...

happy birthday to me.

10 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT MY SHOE. If you care to start, please finish.

1. My shoe's mine. Face it!!! Yours is fine I know, but this is mine. Excellent or not, it's still mine.

2. My shoe fits - don’t assume it doesn’t.

3. My shoe is unique, priceless & the best of God's creation.

4. You can’t walk around in my shoe - it is going to be too big or too small for you. Why do you like to wear mine and ignore yours?

5. My shoe hurts sometimes and I cry behind closed doors; I just want you to know.

6. You may think my shoe's old, plain and cheap but I don't envy yours. If you love yours, you will not be so busy with mine.

7. I don’t talk down your shoe - don’t do it to mine. You think yours is spotless? Well, I see some spots but I can control my mouth.

8. I can buckle my shoelace but sometimes I need help with it.

9. My shoe is not perfect but you don’t have to be cynical with your opinion - I didn’t make the shoe.

10. My shoe is my life. Now you know.

Fortunately, I didn’t buy mine; it’s a gift from the Maker. All I want to do is to use it with pride, fulfill its purpose and make the Maker proud. For this reason was I given this gift; (For thou has created all things and for thy pleasure, they are and we're created)

If you have any question, observation, opinion, or criticism about my shoe, please forward it to God, THE SHOEMAKER. This life isn't mine.

- Colyns Agboju

THE RUSH HOUR

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and drove the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car, shouting, "what was that all about and who are you"?

Just what the heck are you doing?
That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money.
Why did you do it?"
The young boy was apologetic. "Please mister ... please, I'm sorry... I didn't know what else to do," he pleaded.
"I threw the brick because no one else would stop..."
With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car.
"It's my brother," he said.
"He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."

Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."
Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out his fancy handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay.

"Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger.
Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the little boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home. It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!

God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice: Listen to the whisper ... or wait for the brick!

ONE MORE ADVICE ABOUT DREAMS

A boy once said to God, “You know what I want when I grow up.” He then proceeded to give God his list: to live in a big house, to marry a tall blue-eyed woman; to have three sons – one will be a senator, one a scientist, and one a quarterback. He also wanted to be a mountain climber and drive a red Ferrari. As it turned out, the boy hurt his knees one day, while playing football. He could no longer climb trees talk more of mountains.

He ended up marrying a beautiful and kind woman who was short with brown eyes, instead of blue eyes. Because of his business, he lived in an apartment in the city and usually rode the subway instead of a big house. He had three lovely daughters instead of sons and they adopted a male fluffy cat! One daughter became a nurse, one an artist and the third, a music teacher. One morning the boy woke and remembered his boyhood dreams. He became extremely depressed. Heartbroken, he cried out to God: “Remember when I was a boy, I told you all the things I wanted, why didn’t you give me all those things?” “I could have” replied God, “but I wanted to make you happy. Some of those things you asked for could have led you to an early grave.”

God is always working for our good. ALWAYS.

Purest love

IT'S ALREADY IN YOU

In my Army Children’s School days, a few of my classmates and I went to visit a sick friend somewhere in Barnawa, Kaduna. I won’t mention the name of the building because it is still standing and many of you who have been to that state or now live in it will know this particular structure and I don’t want to be arrested because of this story, lol. Anyway, we got there after a long walk but the classmate leading us forgot the specific house. Disappointed, we sat down on the 3^rd floor and waited for our confused friend to recollect after we had rained insults on him. Even if he didn’t remember, we had to rest before taking the long walk back to school in the scorching sun of Kaduna. It was amidst that short rest that a few of my classmates dragged us into trouble by throwing particles at some women platting on the first floor.

The women got angry and their outcry alerted the residents of the building who never liked children from my school because of their naughtiness. Within minutes, the building was agog and they were determined to get us. We perceived that one way to get to us was to shut down the gate, so we all headed that direction before it was late. All of us escaped except our friend Emeka. Even at the age of 10, we knew that if the residents got to one of us, we were all in trouble, so we stayed near to see our fate. While our eyes were glued to the gate to fathom what would happen to Emeka, he showed up right behind us laughing. Surprised, we asked how he escaped from over ten grown men with the gate closed. His answer, in my primary school days was just another story of bravery and covered in mystery, but now I know better.

Emeka told us that when he got to the gate, it was closed and a man was waiting there with “koboko” a Hausa word for whip. He couldn’t pass and so he headed for another direction; running more than his legs could carry by the fence of the building. By then, the men were all behind this little 10-year-old boy and determined to get him. Then Emeka saw his breakthrough and it was a water tank. Those of us in Nigeria know how water tanks for storey buildings were built in those days. The container usually stands on a four-legged, 30 foot crane; depending on the storey building. That was the escape route Emeka saw, and when he got to the foot, he began to climb this ‘miracle’ tank that stood erect by the fence of the building. The men stood under the water tank laughing, thinking that Emeka had been trapped. They expected him to climb down when he gets to the top, or they would climb up to get him if he refused to come to them. But Emeka had another plan. He wanted to climb the tank until he was over the fence and then jump to the next compound and escape. The men never expected a-10-years old boy to have the gut to do that. But he did and wowed them. We called him “the brave one” that day because not one of us considered himself bold enough to do that. Unknown to us, Emeka has something working for him and we don’t and that’s THE ADRENAL GLAND – the part of us designed by God specifically for handling situations that look larger than life.

When God created us, He placed on top of our kidneys, a pair of adrenal glands. They are there to provide for us hormones necessary for the production of energy to do the impossible in very difficult situations, like beat up an attacking lion, jump off a moving vehicle in the face of danger, wrestle a bugler, think up unquestionable solutions in tension etc. One of my friends described how he felt when a mad bulldog broke loose and came after him. In his word, “My hair stood erect and for the first time I prayed that the ground should swallow me alive.” Unfortunately, the ground did not swallow him, but he found himself running faster than Usain Bolt. On a normal day, this friend doesn’t like to run and when he does, he’s slow. Something must have happened that day. We all have similar stories to tell when given the opportunity. Sometimes we say God helped us, and I agree. Oftentimes, it’s the adrenalin given to us by God that worked for us.

What causes the adrenal gland to pump through our body? FEAR! When we are in danger, dread rebuke, rejection, the ‘unknowns’ or spend our whole life in anxiety, we secrete hormones the way we would when we see a bulldog, or when we are in Emeka’s kind of condition. Unfortunately, the adrenalin that is produced during those times will not be used except there is a situation to spend the generated adrenalin. So what happens when the adrenalin surges through your body and there is no big situation to combat, like fighting or running away from a bulldog? WE GET SICK! Adrenalin can only be used to conquer seemingly impossible situations like the story of my childhood friend. If not used, it eventually causes high blood pressure, ulcer, headache or a myriad of other diseases. Do you see why those who allow fear and worry to control their lives visit the doctor more often? I believe that is why God admonished us severally in His word to FEAR NOT! Because the moment you start to worry or fear, you put yourself in the hands of numerous diseases.

When next fear or worry sets in, jump up on your feet and fight back, because at that time, we grow bigger than the problems that we stand against. The power is in you. Samson fought a lion and won; David killed a bear with his bare hands and later embarrassed the proud Goliath who looked insurmountable. Paul killed a poisonous snake with his bare hands and Jacob even fought an angel and prevailed. For us Christians, we have more than adrenalin working for us. We have CHRIST. One popular scripture used all the time is, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” It is time to believe these words and use them for our salvation.

Don’t spend your life worrying over your difficulties. Instead, stand up and fight the problems. We have the power to fight and win. IT’S ALREADY IN YOU.

TO CHASE DOWN A DREAM by Tyler Perry

I am a fan or Tyler Perry and his works especially "Why Did I Get Married Too, Diary Of The Black Mad Woman, Madea Family Reunion." I subscribed to his mailing list and so receive emails from him intermittently. I got this one email last week and wish to share with you guys. Having read about his struggles in the Pursuit of his dreams and then again his successes that is a result of persistence and brilliance, I think everyone who is pursuing a dream should read this piece. You will like it.

- Colyns Agboju

... I've been MIA but we just finished the movie, For Colored Girls, and I have to tell you, I have new respect for Ntozake Shange's 1975 writings. Listening to these words spoken through the voices of Phylicia Rashad, Kerry Washington, Tessa Thompson, Macy Gray, Kimberly Elise, Thandie Newton, Whoopi Goldberg, Janet Jackson and Loretta Devine, made me not only respect the brilliance of the material, but also pull out everything in me to do my best to give it the care and attention to detail that it deserved. Out of all that I've ever done in my life, nothing has taken more out of me than this film. It is remarkable.

Being so drained, I decided to take a few days off. Yesterday I was hiking a mountain in Hawaii with a friend. I was laboring up this beautiful green pastured mountain, looking down at my feet trying to be sure of my footing, while at the same time trying to catch my breath from the altitude. At times, I would make big steps, sometimes all I could do was take small ones. The terrain was uneven and rough at times. It took a lot of effort and a lot of thought so, needless to say, I was getting really tired and at times wanted to stop or just turn back.

I got to one peak and I thought "I'm here, great, we can rest now" only to realize that just because I was at the top of one peak, that didn't mean I had arrived. There were more…more valleys to go through and more heights to reach. It was interesting to me, that in order to go higher, we usually had to go down through a valley, and it went on and on and up and up. I was tired and wanted to sit down but my friend said, "Come on, let's go a little higher." So, not to be outdone by a girl (lol), I dug my hiking boots in and went a little higher. We finally got to one of the highest points and she said to me, "This is the best part, now turn around." I turned around and behind me was the most amazing view that I had seen in my 40 years on this earth. As far as my eyes could see, beauty reigned. The Hawaiian Islands seemed to be leaping up out of the silver blue sea, stretching up to catch the dust of the sky. The clouds seemed close enough to catch in my hand and make a wish; rays of sunlight danced through them trying to find a path to show off their own glow and power. Not even Picasso could have out-painted the canvas that was before me. The heavens were declaring the glory of God. I saw Him in motion.

I said to my friend, "When did we get this high?", and she said, "It was in the climb." I couldn't help but think about life - mine and maybe even yours. I thought about how hard it had been for me chasing down my dream. I thought about how hard it can be to believe sometimes. I thought about the entire struggle, all of the pain, all of the hope, all of the doubt. I thought about the times I was working a dead end job, trying to believe; moving through day-to-day with my head down just taking one step at a time, some small, some big ones, wanting to give up; wanting to stop and sit for a while; wanting to lay in my sorrow; nobody believing in me; nobody thinking it would come to pass and never realizing that every step was taking me closer to higher. That hike was painful, it hurt, but through it all I was getting higher and had no idea how high I was. That's what it's like to chase down a dream.

Sometimes in life dreams are hard to follow, like that climb. You don't know how high you're going or even if you're moving, but every step, even when you can't see what's behind you, will take you closer to your goals. It's in the climb. I know you may be struggling right now, but you're in the climb; things may be hard right now, but you're in the climb; people may not believe in you, but it's part of the climb. They may take shots at you, but stay in the climb; you may have to stand alone, but you're in the climb. Even if you're not where you want to be right now, I want to say to you what she said to me, "This is the best part, now turn around." Look how far you've come. God has not brought you this far to leave you. Stay in the climb.

So thankful for all of you. Be well. CLIMB!

Tyler Perry

WILLFUL SURRENDER: 6 RESPECTFUL WAYS TO HELP YOUR MATE GIVE UP BAD HABITS

"It’s astonishing how we empower seemingly minor and inconsequential habits to trigger great havoc in our relationships. King Solomon in his wisdom calls it “the little foxes that spoil the vine”. It’s time to strap those miniature destructive foxes and be in control of our lives"

If being unorganized means leaving the bathroom floor wet after bath, eat on the bed while watching TV, throw my shirt carelessly (sometimes) in the wardrobe, making noise very early in the morning when my mate’s sleeping etc, then I am abundantly gifted in that section. And if relationship and marriage is all about attacking me about these habits every day, there will be tension all or most of the time. Bad habits like controlling attitude, nagging, chewing fingernails, chomping gum, coming late to appointments, blowing one’s nose at the dinner table, cursing, etc have led to the breakdown of many homes and it’s creating tension in many as I write. I have read and seen how disgusting behaviors have sapped the happiness in families and scare some men from going home until the wives are asleep. Are relationships about constantly fixing up your mate? If they were messed up, why did you choose to be with them? I agree that your mate has some irritating behaviors and they have to be confronted. I am interested in how you are gonna do this without causing a friction. The following points will help you achieve this.

DON’T BE SELFISH

In your haste to change or correct your mate, you have to first discover that you aint perfect yourself. You’ve got to tell yourself that perhaps your habits bother them too and maybe they are not attacking you because they are more matured about it. 2face Idibia puts it perfectly when he said “you no holy pass my brother”. Now you have to let this truth dawn on you prompting the mild, gentle and forgiving side of you to thrive. We can’t be reasonable when we are wrapped in self righteousness saying our mate is “shitty” and we are not.

Also, humans compartmentalize habits as good or bad because of our perception and it doesn’t necessarily mean they are. In other words, we see things as WE ARE and not as THEY ARE. It’s time to rest the weight of self righteousness and your age-long perception of things and embrace simple qualities like understanding, patience, politeness, forgiveness. If you want to change someone, you gotta change yourself first. Turn the table around with your mate sitting in your seat while you are in theirs. HOW WOULD YOU WANT TO BE TREATED? Do you wanna be treated as a kid who gets spanked at the slightest mistake or you would prefer a little understanding and tenderness? I am not creating room for bad habits to thrive. I want to awaken a lover’s humaneness in you, which could have been trampled in your relationship by self righteousness, anger, frustration, and bitterness. When the above qualities are introduced, we can commence a journey to helping our partner surrender their irritating habits without causing a friction otherwise, the journey will be futile.

THE EFFECT OF A TENDER REQUEST

A gentle answer deflects anger But harsh words make temper flare Proverbs 15:1(NLT)

Sometimes it’s hard to hold down a temper when your partner repeats a habit. It is unhealthy and dangerous to pretend you are okay with it too. You will have to confront him/her but how you do it matters a lot. Until recently, I never knew that leaving the bathroom floor wet after bath was an annoying habit. I enjoy my bath a lot and care less about the floor. After all, it will be mopped or dry up soon. But here are the words that alerted me. “Baby, the bathroom floor is always wet when you use it. I dunno how you do it but I am scared to go in there after you use it because I could fall.” That’s it!!! I quickly apologized and purposed in my heart to do better in the future. Although I still wet it a little less, I am trying my best. Imagine if it were a cynical, commanding, disdainful and angry voice that alerted me the first time. Except I am in a good mood, it’s gonna flare my temper and set me on the defensive.

Sometimes your partner is oblivious of his/her bad habits. Your first reaction determines if they are gonna relinquish it with or without a fight. Rather than scream, yell and attack, sit your mate down in a place where there are no distractions and then, in a sincere and kind tone, let them know that their attitude puts you in harm’s way or annoys you. Often times, a gentle, nice, loving tone produces a favorable effect.

BE THERE:

Don’t ever underestimate the effect of solidarity in a tension. If for instance, your partner is in the habit of dressing provocatively triggering embarrassing comments at the mall, don’t run off or make statements like “I have told you”. Reserve the sermon for yourselves at home. One lesson I learned in the movie, FIREPROOF is to never leave your partner in the fire. This is the time to stand strong by her and tell those nosey individuals to mind their business. Actions like this reassure your mate and send the message that you love them regardless of their habits and are eager to protect them. When people get to this point in a relationship, change is near because it’s a place of trust; they can now listen to your suggestions and judgments of them. Running away or making demeaning statements in public places about your mate’s habits is an adolescent behavior because when you choose to love someone, you love them with their strength and flaws. You stay put until the flaw disappears and the strength hits the skies.

GIVE UP YOUR PESKY HABIT FIRST

You already know you are not the perfect image of a Hollywood mate right? With that in mind, ask your partner what habits turns them off about you (they can tell/write it in the order of worst to bad). Relinquish your pesky habit without asking him/her to do same. Promise them that you will make that sacrifice and be committed to it. When your mate sees your commitment to being a better person for them, they will be very willing to make sacrifices too. Sometimes the reason why people don’t change is because we try to remove the speck in their eyes and glorify the logs on ours. We have all forms of excuses for our habits but want them to give up theirs. Is that fair? Also, suggesting a trade-off (I give up a habit while you do same) is a very selfish way of telling someone to lose a couple of needless habits. It’s more honorable to make those sacrifices without expecting anything in return.

APPRECIATE EFFORTS NOT SUCCESSES

When a person is trying to give up a pesky habit, it is a mate’s responsibility to encourage him/her and not ridicule when they struggle sometimes. The truth is that habits are part of us and breaking away is not often easy. When your partner relapses, restrain yourself from any form of attack or ridicule. Acknowledge the fact that you notice their effort and stay positive that they can make it. We thrive better on appreciation than on criticism. “Baby I appreciate the fact that you’re putting so much effort into overcoming smoking” doesn’t cost you and the relationship anything at all. But words like “liar! I knew you can never give up smoking. You were only pretending.” will sap the remaining energy in your mate to go on. Don’t wait until the habits are completely gone before you appreciate, acknowledging the little efforts they put in daily will add up to their success.

BE FRANK – TELL IT AS IT IS

Every personal, intimate relationship thrives on open, frank communication. It doesn’t matter if your partner is uncomfortable with it; you gotta to say how you feel because it is unhealthy not to. Relationships that do not have these moments are built on lies. The reason why most open communications have adverse effects is because it sounds in the ears of their partner as spiteful threats or lectures. Sometimes it sends a signal that your mate has been 100% annoying or they have never done anything honorable. This is so because of our choice of words. Open communication is about how the actions of your partner make you feel and not about what they should do ACT. That’s their decision. Also, applaud your partner in areas they do well while you are busy downloading your hurt. It will be well accepted. Please don’t give in to the temptation of lecturing and fixing up your partner in such moments or even threatening and giving ultimatums. When you do that, you may get a negative outcome to open conversations.

I suggest that couples should have planned moments of frank/honest talk intermittently to assess their actions and growth over a period of time. You can call it OUR PARLIAMENT; a place/time that every voice is important and every point valid. When such moments are well done and fruitful, couples will long for the moments. Speaking is important. I know this too well.

Again these words are worthy of repeating. "It’s astonishing how we empower seemingly minor and inconsequential issues to trigger great havoc in our relationships. King Solomon in his wisdom calls it “the little foxes that spoil the vine”. It’s time to strap those miniature destructive foxes and be in control of our lives"

Purest Love,

10+ IMPORTANT QUESTIONS TO ANSWER ABOUT YOUR HEALTH.

Have you ever felt handicapped because of the pang of sickness? Imagine that you have so much to do but you just cannot lift a finger towards achieving your goal. If you are like me, the pain, restlessness and frustration that comes with a sick body is worse than anything one can explain in writing. Sickness visits because we did or didn’t do something to our body. Contrary to popular beliefs, sicknesses do not just happen, we invite them. And although our body resistance varies from person to person, every medically incorrect action against our body has a repercussion no matter what our beliefs are. So if you want your body to behave, the questions I have asked in this piece when they are answered might be helpful in creating a strong healthy body and mind, rich enough to raise a wall against every form of stubborn infection ready to attack you. No matter your vocation, a healthy body is paramount to achieving your goals. Here are 10 questions I am asking you.

WHAT’S YOUR SLEEPING HABIT?

Our body is created with limits physically and that’s why God created night and day for us to have seasons of work and rest. Even the almighty had a whole day of rest at creation and because rest is so important to our wellbeing; He made it a commandment in the Old Testament. Shun that excuse about having too much on your table and hit the bed right now. Your body needs sleep to function aright and not collapse. Your body is not a machine and even machines break down when they don’t get adequate rest. Research has discovered that not getting enough sleep is responsible to a list of mental and physical health problems, including suppression of the immune system. In other words those who sleep less are more prone to visit the doctor for various kind of ailment. If you’re finding yourself getting sick or not in control of your body anymore, it’s time to ask yourself, “DO I SLEEP WELL?

DO YOUR WASH YOUR HANDS?

I watched yesterday on TV that when you see a sign that advises you to wash your hand, don’t ask questions; just DO it. I completely agree with it. Colds and flu are always on transit and the probability of picking up some live viruses on your hands at some point in the day, especially if cold and flu viruses are circulating is 1. This is one fact not yet clear to Africans and sometimes they laugh at people who are so cautious. Little wonder we have all forms of viruses known to man in circulation. I don’t see why you should be stubborn and sarcastic about it. If you value yourself, just do it because as we know, prevention is better than cure. It takes about 15 seconds to avoid so many days of restlessness and possible expenses in the clinic because of your hardheadedness. It’s hard but I have learned to because it pays.

HOW MUCH WATER DO YOU TAKE?

Do you know that your body is over 60% water? Yes it is. Water transports nutrients to cells and flushes out toxins. It also means that toxins will remain and cause damages to our system when we don’t have adequate water in us. We are often advised by friends and loved ones (I hear it a lot from my fiancée) to take plenty of fluids when we are sick but why wait until we are actually sick before we get hydrated? Do yourself a favor and flush all the toxins that find their way into your system by getting hydrated at every time of the day.

DO YOU EXERCISE?

I first learned this secret in my university days. One of my friends had symptom of malaria and before he was crushed by it, headed for the gym and spent a while exercising. Amazingly, he got better. Funny enough his actions back then were not influenced in any way by any scientific research. It was his personal discovery. Years after, tons of research has discovered that frequent and regular exercise, at least aerobic exercise, helps boost the immune system and reduce the risk of infection. Exercise helps reduce inflammatory molecules that are known to impair the immune system. Exercise is not only for those who want to have good bodies and feel great. It is also a necessity for those who want to avoid sickness. Now go ahead and ask yourself this question.

DO YOU SHARE EVERYTHING?

I see this all the time. Alcoholics and friends sharing a drink from the same bottle while smokers share a stick of cigarette or marijuana. I have also seen friends who share clothes and even underwear and claim its fun. Fun? Yeah right! Are you one of those and isn’t that risky to your health? I am not advising a selfish movement but the risk of sharing food, drinks, cigarettes, toothbrushes, or other oral items is a sure way to spread diseases. Instead of drinking a coke from the same bottle, buy your friend one. You can be liberal without sharing things that affect your health. So it’s okay if you’re a little selfish sometimes. Your immune system and your finances will thank you.

DO YOU DO DRUG, BOOZE, GRASS, CIGS, COFFEE?

You must have heard and read this more than a thousand times and I am not gonna make too much fuss about it anymore. Drug, booze, grass, cigs, coffee weakens your immune system. What is the immune system? Immune system is responsible for protecting you against infections that daily attack your system. So when next you wanna groove and feel high, remember that it might in turn cost you more than a just a drag or a sip at the hospital and but can make you handicap for the rest of your life

DO YOU EAT COLORFUL FRUITS & VEGETABLES?

Even as you read this article, your immune system, which is responsible for fighting off infections, is quietly in battle to shield your body from attacks. It does this every minute of the day. This means that you have to empower it to be ready for the daily challenges. It is paramount because when your immune system fails, nothing can stop you from receiving deathly blows from diseases. You need a healthy diet of vitamins and minerals to empower and ensure that you’re adequately protected. When it comes to fruits and vegetables, darker and more colorful is better because they are loaded with the most nutrients.

CHECK THOSE AROUND YOU, ARE THEY SICK?

Please don’t argue this. If you are always in the companion of sick people you will eventually fall sick (if you don’t protect yourself). It’s as simple as ABC. Almost all strains of cold and flu viruses spread from direct human contact, so by avoiding those who are sick or taking adequate measure while with them will go a long way in keeping you healthy. If you’re deafened by the sound of sniffling coworkers, stick to your own desk and sanitize your hands often. It is pertinent that you know this because sometimes all we need to be struck down by sicknesses is just breathing in airborne droplets of someone who sneezed or hugging and kissing a sick person. No this piece is not advising a selfish and unloving disposition. The truth is, if you are into welfare, one way to keep on caring for others is when you are healthy. Love does not mean you shouldn’t care for yourself too. For the sake of love, you should do this.

BEWARE! DO YOU TOUCH YOUR FACE OFTEN?

The primary entry point of most germs into your body is via the face. It sounds like a joke but it’s very true. Your eyes, nose, ears, mouth etc are the major visible port our bodies have except our genitals but that is when we talk about sexually transmitted diseases. I mentioned earlier that we can get sick by breathing in airborne droplets of someone who sneezed. This is so true. Cold and flu viruses can also invade through these unbelievable entryways. Always make certain that all ports are secure or that you don’t unconsciously infect it with viruses by picking your nose, licking or biting your fingers and rubbing your eyes.

WHAT IS YOUR SEX HABIT?

Another port every human has is the genital. This is also primary and in recent times a big entry point of life-ending diseases. Unfortunately, abstinence is old fashion in our world today and those with sexual integrity are questioned and considered sick. And so we have more damaging diseases and mourn the departure of many promising lives because men and women have not learned to control their basic instinct and also protect this port. Keep your body safe from sexual diseases by ensuring that you also protect this entryway to your body. One moment of uncontrolled passion can equally open the door to early grave. A word is enough for the wise.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN DIVINE HEALTH?

After all is done, pray to God to help you stay healthy. This is a mystery and many people won’t understand and will even argue that God doesn’t play any role in our health. Research has proven that those who believe in divine health and exercise their faith in God fall sick less often than people who don’t. It is God’s desire that we live in health but we need to believe in Him to enjoy this blessing. All that is required is faith that God can and will keep you strong and healthy with you come to him with a broken and an open heart. If you are sick right now, he can make you whole again. Just ask him in faith.

Finally, there are many other things you can do to avoid falling sick. Some of these might be different from continent to continent and also from person to person. Discover what makes you sick and avoid them. For instance I discovered that certain foods make me sick. I will be a fool if I continued eating it. I hope to add more to this list in the coming days.

God bless you.