AN INTERVIEW WITH GOD

Today is the last day of the year 2008. For those living in Nigeria, it’s 31^st already and I am happy to witness this day. It’s not quite an eventful year for me but through it all, may God be praised for all. The best is yet to come. As Tee would say, it’s a new beginning. I believe.

This is my last note in this year but it’s note mine. I read it this evening and decided to share with you guys. The author is unknown but whoever wrote this piece is a genius in many ways. Enjoy my note dear friends. And from me to you guys, 2009 holds many blessings for us and may God smile on us. God bless

I dreamed I had an

Interview with God.

“So you would like to

Interview me?” God asked.

“If you have the time.”

I said.

God smiled.

“My time is eternity

What questions do you

Have in mind for me?”

“What surprises you most

About humankind?”

God Answered.

“That they get bored with childhood,

They rush to grow up,

And then long to be children again.”

“That they lose their health

To make money

And then lose their money

To restore their health.”

“That but thinking anxiously

About the future,

They forget the present,

Such that they live in

Neither the present

Nor the future”

“That they live as if

They will never die,

And die as though they never lived.”

God’s hand took mine

And we were silent for awhile.

And then I asked,

“As a parent,

What are some of life’s lessons

You want your children to learn?”

“To learn they cannot

Make anyone love them

All they can do is

Let themselves be loved."

“To learn that it is not good

To compare themselves to others”

“To learn to forgive

By practicing forgiveness.”

“To learn that it only takes

A few seconds to open profound wound

In those they love,

And it can take many years

To heal them”

“To learn that a rich person

Is not one who has the most,

But is one who needs the least”

“To learn that there are

People who love them dearly,

But simply do not yet know how

To express or show their feelings.”

“To learn that it is not enough

That they forgive one another,

But they must also forgive themselves.”

“Thank you for your time,”

I said humbly.

“Is there anything else you like

Your children to know?”

God smiled and said,

“Just know that I am here always.

See you in the coming year.

Purest Love.

SILLY FIRST IMPRESSION

I was going through www.vivianspeaks.blogspot.com yester night and then it dawned on me that my last post here was three weeks ago. I was wrapped up with the idea of publishing my magazine that I left this place desolate. Nevertheless I think it’s for a good reason because very soon you will have the first-hand opportunity to get my packaged thoughts and those of my friends (that includes you) at your fingertip. I will be honoured to publish your materials in this magazine. For now enjoy my post today.

SILLY FIRST IMPRESSION.
It’s unbelievable but true. Every mortal wears a façade – I do. Surprised? Honestly I do sometimes. It’s nothing to be ashamed of if we want to be honest with ourselves. You see, you and the person sitting next to you are potential pretenders or maybe a practicing one. Guess it’s because that’s what the world accepts. Remember God’s words to Prophet Samuel in the Holy Bible? “…man looks at the outward but…” Every man pretends to be more certain of himself and his potentials than he really is but is he all the time? Okay let me personalize the question. Am I as confident as I sometimes claim to be? Nah! I don’t think so. Sometimes doubts lurks deep within my soul at moments I portray a confident exterior. Other times, I pose with qualities I know I do not readily have to get some sort of endorsement on a project or something. Please don’t judge me because of my honestly. I ain’t perfect and so are you but if you wanna judge my, you have my benison. I hope you don’t and take hold of the lesson in this post.

The point I wanna make is this. The world is filled with pretending yet glamorous nonentities with clean cute exterior selling nothing but first impression. Ironically, we fall for the exterior not minding what the interior looks like. People spend millions of dollars in the business of looking good and spend penny on building character. All around the world, fashion and styles are selling faster than gold. I ain’t against fashion and enhancing the exterior. I only wish man would put so much emphasis on building a lasting quality as much as he puts on his exterior. Though the world is treading the path of “first impression counts”, wise people put equivalent energy on building a character that will maintain the impression long after the first was created.

I have lived long enough to not bet my money on first impression anymore because people ain’t what they seem at first. I have seen people achieved heights with charisma and pulled it down by the character they pretended to have or do not readily possess. In the same vein, I have met humans who were repulsive at first yet possess attributes that will resound into generations yet unborn. Which will you prefer? Guess the answer is obvious.

Blame me if you can but I ain’t among the people who despise others because they do not possess what was required at first. Colyns Agboju in totality is the product of both the people who gave me a second chance to make the first impression and also of people who despised me. But the memory of people who looked at my scattered self and gave me another opportunity to prove myself is like the memory of divinity. I will always cherish that. God has given me a rare opportunity to see people who despised me in my early days celebrating me. I always wonder if I had quit then. Even God gives us a second chance. Who are we to write off others at first contact? We have to be more careful with people that we come across in life and not destroy them because of a silly FIRST IMPRESSION. May be then people will put emphasis on their souls than their bodies.

Here is another fab blogspot to enjoy. www.vivianspeaks.blogspot.com. I love you guys.

NEVER TAKE YOUR EX. TO YOUR NEXT

Sweetheart, mid way into this piece; I locked myself up and watched “The Diary of the Mad Black Woman” Maybe for the tenth time but this time, my eyes were wet every minute of it as if I was watching it for the first time. Now it has a fresh new meaning to me. I write this note from my depths and with pains in my soul but I have unquantifiable hope that I will laugh soon

NEVER TAKE YOUR EX. TO YOUR NEXT
“Our defenses reflect our wounds but no person can heal those wounds. They can give us love, innocently and sincerely, but if we’re already convinced that people cannot be trusted – if that’s the decision we’ve made – then our minds will construe whatever someone’s behaviour is, as evidence that our previously drawn conclusion was correct.”

When hearts are broken in love or marriage, perspective and beliefs touching important issues about the opposite sex are affected. Also, fear about the future, more than ever is activated and increased. On this kind of heart, even the most sincere love will fail and I think that’s why they always do. Nothing hinders the growth of love in our lives than the fear that people cannot be trusted and using our experiences to measure other people. Everyone is different and our experiences with one or two of a gender prototype should not be a measuring stick to assess the people we have in our lives presently. Humans should be measured by the content of their character not by their sex. I am male and I am proud to be one but I ain’t like every man because of certain decisions I made earlier in life. It will be unfair to compare me with other men who have abused the trust you bestowed on them. I also believe that there are countless others in both male and female clothing around us who, by discipline have become different but we have failed to notice them because we compare them with our ex. My Bible, which is also my guide, says “…and they comparing themselves with themselves are not wise.” Need I say more?

I have been battling for close to two years myself to maintain a sound mind after a love that left when things got bad. Believe me I am fighting day and night to maintain a sound perspective on issues touching male and female love. The truth is that I want to win this battle than any other thing. First, because I want to be happy and not keep hurting long after the one who hurt me is gone and enjoying his/her life without me. I don’t want to halt my life because of someone’s decision to damage me. I want to go on and be happy with me and not give this right to people to determine why and when I should be happy. Honestly, people do not deserve that lofty place in our lives. It is all ours to decide to either keep hurting and blaming people long after we have been hurt or move on.

Secondly, I want to enjoy the value of the opposite sex at every level - as a mother, a friend, a wife, the mother of my children and as a confidante. I am sure that every woman desires this kind of personal interaction with a man too because that’s the way God created us – to complement each other. Unfortunately our experiences usually reduce the opposite sex to be of one value – sex partner. For others, the only opposite sex in their lives are parents, family or friends. We need them more than this to make for a better us and invariably, a beautiful world.

Over the years, I have in the cause of helping people with emotional crisis and being friendly with people, heard words like
• men cannot be trusted or women are sluts
• men are jerks or woman are devils
• men are proud and egoistic or women manipulate and are too demanding
• all men are the same or all women are have a price
• men think with their libidos or women have chicken brain etc

I accept that there are men and women on our streets and even in our beds right now who are everything like this. I will be insane not to think thus. But I am more convinced that these pictures dwell more in our minds more than they do in the real world. It is these pictures in our minds that translate into reality or even attract such people to us. Hence, men are this and women are that because we THINK they are. The hard truth is that things gravitate towards us according to our dominant thought.” The quote I started this piece with is worthy of repetition here, “Our defenses reflect our wounds but no person can heal those wounds. They can give us love, innocently and sincerely, but if we’re already convinced that people cannot be trusted – if that’s the decision we’ve made – then our minds will construe whatever someone’s behaviour is, as evidence that our previously drawn conclusion was correct.” Please read this again until it sinks.

Forgive me if I sound inexperienced or not to perceive the depth of your case. Believe me I do and I am in pains myself - maybe at a different level but we cannot deny the fact that we both hurt. Managing the hurt and getting on with our lives is the reason why I write this piece. We have to take control of our lives and not leave it at the mercies of those who hurt us. And one of the ways to begin healing if we suffer this problem is to:

1. Change Your Dictionary: Do not use your few experiences to measure the totality of a gender because there are good people of the same sex with the one who hurt you. Personally, I have female friends who are more of a blessing to me than males. It would be unfair to view them at a general term. We have to learn to respect people as people and not as male or female and also, kick unnecessary fears out of your soul. They grow up and choke even the noblest intentions. I have decided that every woman I meet is unique and do not deserve to be compared with anyone no matter the similarity in sex. I think you should do the same too. We are all different; yes we are. (I will venture into other aspect as we proceed)

I wrote this note initially for my facebook Fan Club- Dearagbocol Fan Club. I decided to post it here for people who ain't in that group or on FB. I hope you like it.

Finally I need your prayer now more than ever. see you soon. I'm out.

After
Titilayo Adebiyi, Jackie Pondo and Iyke Okafor - you have brought so much hope and joy into my world. I love you guys with all my soul.