Monday, June 6, 2011

10 THINGS YOUR MAN BRINGS INTO THE RELATIONSHIP PART VI: HIS LIBIDO


A MAN IS HIS LIBIDO. Note that I wrote the previous sentence in capital letters? I mean to say read again and again until you understand the weight of those words. In this time of tsunami of sex (have you not noticed how sex’s been worshiped on TVs, radio, music, paintings, movies etc?); the one thing a woman should not sweep under the carpet is the power of sex on her man. The irony is that as women get into the mainstream of professionalism and independence; this is one issue they ignore the most. Could that be the reason why more men are unfaithful?

By personal analysis and observation, I have discovered that men are unfaithful for 3 strong reasons (add to the list if you want). All points are equally valid
1: MEN are sexually greedy beings: A man is turned on by what he sees. If what he sees is attractive, he likes it almost immediately and the next move is to chase and conquer. Self-control is a very vital quality of being a man. Men who are impoverished of this quality always get into trouble. More importantly so now than ever, men need to exhibit a degree of chastity and strength of will from all the sexiness around us. Contrary to some school of thought, there are men who are sexually disciplined.
2: MEN are sexually malnourished: When a man is starved; he is famished and when he is famished, he wants to eat. If his wife is too busy to have sex or has another excuse for tonight then the old saying of “when the desirable is not available, the available becomes desirable” becomes a thought. The truth is if a woman starves her man, his colleague, house-helps, hookers, scantily dressed girls on the street and flirting lonely women will look attractive to him. On most occasions, a sexually satisfied man remains faithful. Like I always say, it’s rare to have a Bentley in your garage and be interested in Tata Nano (the world’s cheapest car selling for $2,500 according to Forbes. It is not even available in the United States; they are barred from entry in their current conditions, because they don't meet U.S. safety and emissions standards.).
3: MEN are sexually bored: Men get bored easily and when they do, they search for something more satisfying. That’s the secret of civilization and invention. When men got tired of sleeping on the floor, they invented the bed. Have you ever wondered why men go to whores and strippers for pleasure? Here is an answer while you are still thinking of one: These women are trained to be versatile and bring men great pleasure. They may not be good at been wives and supporting men, but they are grand in pleasure making.
Are you a wife? One more thing to add to your quality as a wife is good sex. Ask him for his fantasies and satisfy them passionately. Explore new zones together and enjoy yourself while bringing him pleasure. Here are some tips: Make love outside the regular places (no law states that sex should be exclusively reserved for the bedroom). Seduce him in the car while in the park in the dark (like teenagers) and recline the seats to make love, walk into him the bathroom and “do” him, welcome him at the door naked, undress him in the kitchen and pleasure him. That’s what the “other woman” does to him enthusiastically and that’s why he keeps going there. Take the lead sometimes and dazzle him. One more advice, men know when you fake it. Be actively involved and you will enjoy it.
DON’T FORGET THIS:
1: A man’s libido can affect his brain and his brain can affect his libido: Google libido and brain if you have a minute. Take time to read the many researches about the connection between the brain and libido. It’s astonishing how they are both connected. Whichever comes first, either the brain affecting libido or libido affecting his brain, one thing is certain, the brain of a man is connected to his sex urge. Here is my point: if the brain functions as the primary receiver, organizer and distributor of information for the body, then sex can make a man perform wonderfully and can also make him perform woefully. If you are truly interested in his performance, this is important. Don’t you think?
2: A man’s libido can affect his ego: Nothing punctures a man’s ego than sexual rejection and worse if you ridicule his performance behind closed doors. His ability to perform veritably as a macho in bed, making his sexual partner feeling heavenly and hearing her express her satisfaction inflates his male ego remarkably. Well the absence or your reluctance to “go down” with him conveys a non-verbal message that he is weak bed and that’s why you are reluctant. A man is ready to try everything to avoid such an embarrassment. But after everything’s done and you are still unenthusiastic, you have unconsciously watered down his performance. I bet you don’t want to have a man with a depleted ego. A man without ego has lost a vital part of his being; he’s lost his drive, energy and the effrontery to forge ahead.
3. A man’s libido can affect how he treats you and the tranquility in the home: a couple approached a pastor about their incessant disagreements. Having gone through series of session with him without improvement, the pastor asked, “when last did you have sex?” they chorused in synchronization “about a year ago”. The pastor closed the session immediately and told them to make it happen tonight. They did and it changed everything. A week later they returned to the pastor with words of appreciation. In the man’s words, “pastor you are a miracle worker”. A sexually starved man does two things. He either cheats or has a thin skin and disagrees with you at every opportunity he’s got. This may explain why you are constantly in the mud with him.
4: A man’s libido can enhances creativity & productivity: A sexually satisfied man is mentally healthy and performs better professionally than a starved man. Don’t ask questions or disagree, just satisfy him and observe the difference.
5: A man’s libido can affect him spiritually: But for lust of the eyes and unfaithfulness many men would be great guys and spiritually sound. A satisfied man is a happy man. Wouldn’t you be interested in making that happen if that’s all you need to do?
PS:
Please note that this article is not a sexist one and I do not intend to communicate that sex answers all questions in your marriage. Also, it is far from the intention of this article to justify unfaithfulness or saddle women with the responsibility of initiating copulation. It is only intended to reveal one more thing a man brings into your relationship and offer one more suggestion for a woman to have a great union. Also, this particular article is intended for married couples as the author does not endorse premarital sex.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

10 THINGS YOUR MAN BRINGS INTO THE RELATIONSHIP V - HIS EX.

You can tell a lot about a person by just listening to their experience with their ex. For men, it is truer. One basic determinant of the present or future tendencies of any human being in relationship can be understood by just studying his past relationships. How they handled people who were there before you says so much about how they are going handle you.
Some days ago I approached a realtor for house rental as I am trying to move into a new home. One basic information I was asked to provide was my last job, my last landlord and why I left my last home. It was no surprise for me because we can only expect a man to tell us how great they are but a study into their past will reveal their true personality. While it is okay to say that we should not judge people by their past, it will be inappropriate to ignore it.

Men can be catalogued and remain in that category for a lifetime because they are often constant. In other words, you can be able to anticipate a man’s behavioral pattern by studying his past relationships or what category he belongs. But women have the propensity to acclimatize to situation and the people they deal with. In other words, a woman is like a chameleon; she can adjust or reinvent herself (if she wants to) to the man she is with per time. But men are more constant, which means the probability that a man will be what he was 10 years ago is close to 1 if not 1.
An abusive man 10 years ago may still be abusive 10 years after. You can say the same of a caring man as also of an unfaithful man, a manipulative man, a stingy man, a lazy man etc. No matter what he tells you, how many flowers he brings to your door-step everyday, and how many songs he serenades you with. A man is constant until he is influenced by a stronger force which in this case could be God or a therapist. How do you know if he has truly changed? One determining factor is that he takes his share of blame in past relationships and apologizes for them. He speaks well about past relationships and not looks for every opportunity to condemn his ex.

I have made it a point of call for all my relationships before getting serious to ask questions about exes. It is easy to be blinded by promises and emotions. Many people have fallen into the traps of promises by building their hopes and expectations on lies and façade. Don’t make that mistake. Ask questions and don’t be tired of asking if in anyway your man is blocking initially.

PAST TIES
I live in the United States and it is getting more difficult to find single women or men without children. It is so unfortunate that many boys and girls churning out children as early as 15 years old. Woman and men in their late 20s without children are considered sick. It is pathetic. A lot of men will be paying child support for the rest of their lives because they have children by different women. And you should know about this before getting serious with any man. Aside child support, your man will constantly be in touch with his ex (or exes) for the child’s sake. It is no longer news that men usually have sexual encounter with their baby’s momma during such contacts. Don’t pretend it’s okay because he is a nice person. Ask questions and keep asking until you are satisfied.

It will be inappropriate to not mention a man’s experience with his ex. If it is a good one, you may live your life keeping up with the record of his ex. Believe me your man brings that to you too. If he talks about his ex all the time especially when you are “wrong”, remind him that you are a different person and do not appreciate being compared with her. I bet you don’t wanna go down that road if he still considers her better even after your explanation. You may not win this fight. Whether you live in America, Africa or Europe, exes are a strong forces to deal with because they were with your man before you and sometimes longer. And invariably know him better. For instance, I was with my ex for 5 years and without any disrespect, I can tell her man many things about her and vise versa. Knowledge makes exes a strong force to reckon with but if your man is over with his ex, he truly is. How do you know if he truly is over? He doesn’t compare you to her and is not spending time with her even under the guise of “we’re just friends”.

Finally, don’t judge people by their past but don’t make any form of future commitment if you have to constantly look over your shoulders. You know what I mean.

Please come back for part VI