10 THINGS YOUR MAN BRINGS INTO THE RELATIONSHIP 2: HIS STRENGTH:

Every man you meet is SUPERIOR at something. Some men are brilliant at planning and creating ideas. Some are gifted at executing plans and some are excellent at critiquing ideas. Some are gifted at listening, talking or watching. Others are great with kids, cooking, selling, buying, encouraging/helping, farming, painting, and so much more. Always remember that all gifts are distinct and every man, no matter how messed up and uncoordinated, is blessed with at least one special ability. Empower a man to function and thrive in the area of his strength and his contribution to the relationship will be inexhaustible. Needless to say, some men need their women to spot these strengths because history has proven that women have eyes that can see beyond the physical. On most occasions, the strength (active or docile) of a man is what attracts a woman in the first place. Remember that your man has strength and his contribution to the relationship depends immensely on this.

If you want your man to excel, never get tired of inflating his strength everyday. Wise woman encourage their men to be stronger at their strength, to explore new terrains of their strength and also provide the right energy to excel. A foolish woman expects her man to be somebody else she admires and invariably deflate his ability to excel in the area of his strength. To know a man, it is noble to identify his strength and encourage it. Such a man will remember your act of love forever. Identifying his strength does not mean the same as imposing a strength you admire. While women can perceive strength, they have the tendency to be controlled by self and competition. A woman could say, Mr. William is an engineer and makes a lot of money; you should be an engineer too. That’s a suggestion immersed in self and competition not in love. Lady Macbeth in Shakespeare’s award winning fiction, "Macbeth" is such a woman. She preyed on her man’s ego, greed and filled his heart with ambition which led to his waterloo. A woman should empower her man with encouragement, praise, ideas and not take advantage of his weakness to achieve her selfish desires.

It is paramount I say this: a man will love you better if you identify his strength and supply the necessary energy for him to thrive. This is called supporting your man. you always reap a dividend.

EXERCISE: Ask you man this question today. WHAT DO YOU LOVE DOING AND HOW CAN I HELP YOU BE HAPPY DOING IT?

Check back for part 3 on Monday.

Purest Love,

Collins Agboju

10 THINGS YOUR MAN BRINGS INTO THE RELATIONSHIP Part 1: HIS JOB

Have you ever wondered why men act in certain ways? Have you ever used the phrase “all men are the same?” Are you among millions of women who are exasperated in the journey to understanding their men? This article might help with the answers. Every woman wants to know the man she has chosen to date or marry. Women are relational beings and a lot in their dating and marriages depend on how much they know about their men. A man could care less about this but knowledge is at the core of the relationship for women. I have never met a woman who does not seek a better way to know her man. The problem is that a lot of women are looking at illusive angle.

Many women have been deceived into believing the concept that men think with “between their legs” or that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Unfortunately, more women are frustrated because this concept doesn’t work. It may apply to attracting some men but rarely keep them. Think for a second, if all you need to do is feed him with your body and food, then relationships and marriages should be the most peaceful places on earth. Unfortunately, with the recent divorce rate and the arrow of satisfaction pointing downwards in many marriages, sex and food alone do not make men happy in their relationships. Something else does. And this is what the following article attempt to offer. 

When next you decide to get serious with a man, look for the following points. The more you can manage this, the closer you are to enjoying the man. Please note that this article is not offering tips on controlling your man but enjoying the totality of the man you have chosen to be with.

HIS JOB

Right from genesis, men have been predictable by their jobs or what they spend their day doing. Hence show me a man’s job and I will tell you a little about how he relates with his woman. Men have always viewed relationships in term of their training or job. Trust, bonding and romance boil down to their choice of job. This should not be a surprise because men spend more time with their work (an average man spends 8-10 daily at his job, 6-8 hours sleeping and 4-6 hours with you). Sometimes they even carry the workload to the bedroom splitting your own time. The probability that your man will treat you as a client is close to 1. He does this by default and not deliberately. For instance, I am trained as a journalist, which means I ask questions for a living. Sometimes they may seem irrelevant but they mean a lot to me to establish trust and arrive at a better conclusion. I want to know what happened in detail and the facts offered have to correlate. When they don’t match, I ask more questions. It’s not the issue of the absence of trust. In fact, trust depends on truth, consistency and sincerity for journalists like me. Half truth, blocking or inconsistency means you are hiding something and this will destroy the relationship faster than you know. I advised that men remove their work suits at the door but it is very hard to achieve this 100% of the time. Attorneys and judges may show similar traits.

If you understood that your man’s job is part of his life and he deals with your relationship SOMETIMES as his job, you will not hesitate to look closely at this point and chart a course for your relationship. A builder may have a yearning for planning, an accountant wants accountability, a doctor is quick to treat you as a patient etc. I am advising that you find how your man deals with you using his job as one of pointers because that’s a huge part of his life and he takes this with him even to the grave.

Please come back for part 2. The series runs to part 10.