10 THINGS YOUR MAN BRINGS INTO THE RELATIONSHIP III

A MAN AND HIS WEAKNESS

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference – the Serenity Prayer

When I mentioned in the last post that every man you meet is superior at something. I meant it. The scratchy side of that point is that he is also inferior at something. For Christian, one of the most frequently used verse is “I can do all things…” I agree wholly but that doesn’t mean we should be doing everything and wear ourselves out. A man who consumes himself with doing everything will master nothing. And expecting your man to do everything and be everything is pushing it too far.

I am terrible at some things; very terrible I mean. But God knows I am very good at many things too. Women need to know that their men are not omnipotent and omniscient. He comes to you with weaknesses and he comes with bundles of it. There are things that you will never find me thriving at and if there were a scale of one to ten, I will fall at 3 or less. I plan on going to a dance class just for my wedding. I am terrible at cooking (ok I think I am improving but don’t expect me to dazzle you in that department). I am atrocious with mathematics and everything around it. Also, if you want to plan everything and have it written in black and white, please don’t count on me. When I met my fiancée (who is proficient in planning having trained as an event planner), this was obviously frustrating to her. I see the frustration in her eyes and I know she wonders how I ever get things done (and I do) without planning. That’s a weakness I carry and although I am working on that, I cannot guarantee success all the time.

This is important to note. Men are good at what they are good at and awful at what they are bad at. It has something to do with our gender I guess. We bother ourselves with what we can do and leave the rest to women. Lol. But seriously, that is why some men won’t learn how to cook or fix a diaper because until now, they think it’s a woman’s job.

THERE IS A CHILD IN EVERY MAN

Men are like children sometimes. They can be needy, unkempt, wimp and unaware as a 2 year old. Every woman must make peace with this truth or will be consistently disappointed. For most women, what a man stands for is perfection, strength and authority. He can be all of these most of the time but I doubt if there is a man who exhibits all of this traits all of the time. Don’t disrespect them in those moments when they don’t act as the wonderful prince in shining armor you have fantasized about. Most times a decent, honest conversation works miracles than resolving to nagging or being his mother.

Cheers.

Please Come back for part IV.

10 THINGS YOUR MAN BRINGS INTO THE RELATIONSHIP 2: HIS STRENGTH:

Every man you meet is SUPERIOR at something. Some men are brilliant at planning and creating ideas. Some are gifted at executing plans and some are excellent at critiquing ideas. Some are gifted at listening, talking or watching. Others are great with kids, cooking, selling, buying, encouraging/helping, farming, painting, and so much more. Always remember that all gifts are distinct and every man, no matter how messed up and uncoordinated, is blessed with at least one special ability. Empower a man to function and thrive in the area of his strength and his contribution to the relationship will be inexhaustible. Needless to say, some men need their women to spot these strengths because history has proven that women have eyes that can see beyond the physical. On most occasions, the strength (active or docile) of a man is what attracts a woman in the first place. Remember that your man has strength and his contribution to the relationship depends immensely on this.

If you want your man to excel, never get tired of inflating his strength everyday. Wise woman encourage their men to be stronger at their strength, to explore new terrains of their strength and also provide the right energy to excel. A foolish woman expects her man to be somebody else she admires and invariably deflate his ability to excel in the area of his strength. To know a man, it is noble to identify his strength and encourage it. Such a man will remember your act of love forever. Identifying his strength does not mean the same as imposing a strength you admire. While women can perceive strength, they have the tendency to be controlled by self and competition. A woman could say, Mr. William is an engineer and makes a lot of money; you should be an engineer too. That’s a suggestion immersed in self and competition not in love. Lady Macbeth in Shakespeare’s award winning fiction, "Macbeth" is such a woman. She preyed on her man’s ego, greed and filled his heart with ambition which led to his waterloo. A woman should empower her man with encouragement, praise, ideas and not take advantage of his weakness to achieve her selfish desires.

It is paramount I say this: a man will love you better if you identify his strength and supply the necessary energy for him to thrive. This is called supporting your man. you always reap a dividend.

EXERCISE: Ask you man this question today. WHAT DO YOU LOVE DOING AND HOW CAN I HELP YOU BE HAPPY DOING IT?

Check back for part 3 on Monday.

Purest Love,

Collins Agboju